DOCTOR HOOPLA is Flabby Hoffman's personal physician. He has a doctorate in the science of political and social satire as well as brain surgery. As such he dedicates the bulk of his practice to strengthening various elements of the human brain stem with special attention to the juices. His monthly magazine is a combination of satirical observations, poignant witticisms and pure stupidity blended in exactly the right amounts to provide a dose of prescription level sanity for those who suffer from the main mental disease of our time: Ryan Seacrestation (or over exposure to dull lifeless corporate sell outs). Joined in this quest by associates in his practice Doctor Brouhaha; Doctor Gag Reflex And Nurse Ballmeat...this group has set its sights on healing society by allowing those starved for some sense of it all to suckle at the ample bosom of their milky goodness.
Coming soon to a local direct to DVD retailer near you, it’s a movie where up is down, down is up and right is slightly less to the right than usual…its, Invasion Of The Bee Girls. Float like a butterfly…sting like a bee girl. Watch in wonder with a thin moist sheen of sweat on your upper lip and undercarriage as these “honeys” get “buzzed” and spread their potent pollen. Come out to see it now…not because you might actually dig it, but because we tell you to.
This Flabby Hoffman bootleg album “31 Flavors Revisited” was only released in Belize and the People’s Republic Of Congo back in 2004. Too bad because this collection is a bitch slap to the groin on a Tuesday in Bingoland. The only way to get a copy is to find a cabbie in Cleveland named Ralphus and give him a spanish dubloon in a canvas tote bag and say the words: “take me to your spunk bonanza” and he transports you to a magical land beyond time where you can order a copy of this rare album.
There’s No Place Like Om – I’ve had enough of this “Sequestration” business…its just another ploy to make the rich richer and it ain’t helping anyone solve problem number one which is jobs. Instead I say we replace “Sequestration” with “Ryan Seacrestation” which is where we just bombard everyone with tons more Ryan Seacrest at all hours of the day and night. It wont do anything except help the rich get richer either, but we’ll all be so lifeless and brainless that we wont be able to tell the difference. Problem solved. – Dr. Gag Reflex 04/03/13
PAID ADVERTISEMENT: From the producers of Alice In Wonderland now comes an extremely graphic pornographic version of the beloved children’s tale entitled Cialis In Wonderland. In this version, The Mad Hatter takes a performance enhancing drug, gets a 4 hour boner and proceeds to pound the living bejeezus out of Alice, The Queen Of Hearts, The Cheshire Cat and even Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee. Its fun for the whole family…Manson Family that is. Coming soon to a multi-plex indoctrination center near you.
The hot new LP called “Music To Massage Your Mate By” can transport you and your insignificant other to a place where sensuality and passion known no boundaries. In fact the producers of this album are so confident that your erotic power shall go through the roof that they offer a guarantee. If you do not get to 2nd base by the end of track three, you not only get all your money back, but you also get a free BJ from TJ Hooker actor William Shatner…that’s right it’s a TJ/BJ.
Fight The Cure – America’s Got Talent brings in Heidi Klum to be a judge….sounds good. I mean she’s got a great pedigree to recognize, evaluate and mentor talented Americans right? I mean all that we really need in modern day culture talent wise (especially in music) is a tight bod, the ability to change costumes fast and to lip sync. So she’s a perfect choice. So all you naysayers claiming she is herself a talentless slice of eye candy with no more class or intelligence than a wax figure version of a human being who has no more skill at judging talent than a the slime trail off the business end of a slug. The money they are paying her probably comes out of the set decoration budget instead of the on air talent budget. – Dr. Brouhaha 04/02/13
Wouldn’t You Like To Pass The Time With A Little Game Of Solitaire – What is wrong with the 7-11 Stores people? Why is it still called that? When they started it like 40 years ago or so, it signified the hours the stores were open. Before that, literally nothing was open that early or that late except like brothels and White Castle. But within a few years they were open all the time and should have renamed themselves 24-7…but for some reason they never did (which by the way is a sign of how much harder we are forced to work now than we did in the 70’s the fact that so many people have to work such extreme hours and need junk at all hours of the day and night to sustain it). Not only is it now a lie and a national disgrace, but it is this type of blatant mule headedness that makes us a laughing stock of the whole damn world. Look at all those stupid Americans they say. Look at them going into a place called 7-11 at 6:59…at 11:01….heck, any damn time. Either lose the name or close up at night…your choice. Just quit making all of us look like chumps. – Nurse Ballmeat 04/01/13
DOCTOR HOOPLA'S HAPPY FUN TIME BLOGOSPHERE a publication of Gro-A-Fro Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. No article may be appropriated without consent of the publishers or the individual writers responsible for the item in question. The words and thoughts expressed by the guest writers and contributors to this blog are their own and in no way reflect the opinions of Doctor Hoopla Magazine, Flabby Hoffman or Gro-A-Fro Productions.
WARNING: Doctor Hoopla's Happy Fun Time Blogosphere contains material that is of an adult nature both in language and subject matter which might be offensive to younger and more sensitive readers. Parental discretion is advised.
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