The Flabby General Store – Your One Stop Shop For All Things FlabbyScroll through the exciting and enticing Flab products below and click on the icon photo for more product information and/or to make a purchase!
MUSIC BY FLABBY
Coup De Ta-Ta’s – The third Flabby album is a real humdinger. A triple disc set featuring 50 new tunes, 4 hours worth of music, a 32 page booklet and approx. 50 contributing local area musicians who make up the extended family known as the Flabby Hoffman Trio. The power, breadth and scope of this music is profound and intense and even rivals the greatest works of renown musical icons like Air Supply, Susan Boyle and Bingo
The Wonder Turtle.
Flabby Road – Flabby’s 2nd album is a double disc thriller with a cherry on top. Songwriting is at a premium level here and there’s a collection of tunes here so intense and diverse that even the most callous and pathological corporate sweat shop overlord would feel their heart beat briefly as beads of sweat and drool drip slowly down their leathery hide. If you’ve been driven to dismay by the utter lack of vitality, emotional intensity and creative integrity of the mainstream, then we’ve got the perfect antidote for what ails you. Take two discs of Flabby Road and call me in the morning.
Illegally Download This CD – The debut CD effort from Flabby is a gut punch to the status quo…a volley across the bow of our corporate overlords affirming that their efforts to completely purge us of our humanity have failed. The message it contains carries a sense of resolve and conviction which lends a deep sense of purpose to the whole effort that distinguishes it from the heartless, pre-chewed, neutered gunk that they try and pass off as music these days. Rock music is the medium, but it is clear even from the get go that Flabby Hoffman is out for bigger game than what the genre has been manipulated into. In reality, he is reaching out to find a way to open up the human condition towards a higher and more passionate sense of self….which is not to say that the Flabby Trio wont blow your barn doors off with the fury of their blistering jams, because they’re in no mood here to pussyfoot around.
Various albums, tunes and books by Flabby are available here for easy downloads. FYI, for some reason the price to download Coup De Ta-Ta’s at iTunes is three times as expensive as it is by clicking on the link above for the album…so don’t get suckered in. Also the second volume of the Flabby book The Avant Guardian has yet to gain approval by iTunes. So see the link below under the book section for that one. Everything else is priced normally and if you’re an iTunes fiend, its all right there for ya.
Various albums and tunes available for easy purchase and downloads at America’s venerable ginormous (too big to fail) online purveyor of swag. I know I sleep a little easier knowing that Flabby tunage is always just a heartbeat away.
BOOKS BY FLABBY
The Avant Guardian Volume 1 – This mix of political/social satire, conspiracy theory and low brow humor might not make Flabby a hit at the Bohemian Grove, with the Bilderburgers, the Illuminati or with Cubs fans, but one thing’s for sure. Being metaphorically slapped in the face with a wet fish to wake you up from your hypnotic state has never been this much fun. It takes thinking outside the box, coloring outside the lines and shifting paradigms to a whole new level and is sure to never even be in the team photo to be added to the reading list on Oprah’s Book Club.
The Avant Guardian Volume 2 – Volume Two of the most dangerous book in history. Time to man up and tear yourself off a slice of the compelling prose and insightfully poignant reflections sprinkled with toilet humor that makes up this bit of outsider literature. It might not change who you are, it might not be enough to shake you from your slumber, but it should inspire you to at least reflect….and have a few laughs in the process. You might not dig what it has to say, but you’re bound to at least enjoy the ride. If you don’t like it for any reason, send me an email and I shall do my best to get you an apology as soon as possible.
The mammoth scope of the Flabby book print edition conveys the measure of his convictions in undeniable vividness. With little more to show for his efforts than a few loyal compatriots and laboring in near total obscurity, Flabby over 2.5 years created a four hour long triple album and a book so involved that it takes a total of over 1200 8 1/2 x 11″ single spaced type written pages to contain it. The fact is that Flabby risked his life to produce these works and landed in the ICU of a hospital where he stayed for over 10 days fighting upon their completion. The fact is that we are at a crossroads where our world is on the brink of an eternal global police state and Flabby has been imbued with a clarity of vision of the whole magilla and refuses to let it come to pass. This book is his invitation for you to join the fight and find the joy of true liberation.
It’s a big book…I’m talkin’ big here. So look, should you not dig the defense of the human spirit, the deconstruction of the social indoctrination process they have immersed us in, the outsider political views or the off kilter humor of the thing here are some alternate uses that the overall bulkiness of this tome can be repurposed for: fuel a campfire during your next global warming influenced mega storm aftermath while waiting for weeks for your power and heat to be restored; would make a great flood gate for the low lying coastal areas around New Orleans; makes a great replacement bass player for Bill Wyman in the Rolling Stones; build a tower on it and it would become a great executive airport for Cessnas, Lear Jets and G-7’s and hollow out the middle, add some seats and you got yourself a primo world class indoor dome stadium. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.
CLICK BELOW FOR FLABBY MERCH
The Flabby Merch Store has a great wide selection of T-Shirts, hoodies, sweatshirts and the like in all sizes made to order with a wide variety of cartoons, fake album covers and unique custom graphics created by Flabby himself for maximum weirdness (don’t worry we don’t expect anyone to wear a real life pic of Flabby and contend with the widespread nausea that it could cause). In addition to your basic apparel options, we’ve got tons of wacky alternative fun stuff to offer. How about a Flabby Hoffman doggie dish? How about a Flabby thong for those romantic evenings with your best friend’s sister? How about a pic of Flab-Baby on a onesy for your baby…we got ’em. Keychains, fridge magnets, iPad sleeves, messenger bags/canvas tote bags, wallets, calendars, hats, journal books, posters, buttons, mouse pads and so much more its redonkulous. Kick the Nike’s of the world, sports team paraphenalia and creepy multi-level marketing heartless product merch to the curb and represent the Flabby movement to dismantle the corporate dehumanization process.